Dear Shell,

Today when I bought fuel a shell loyalty card was thrust into my hand with my receipt.

In 2007 you made £13.9billion. Yet you still feel the need to raise fuel prices by somewhere around the 40p per litre mark. Considering when this escalation of prices started its mammoth climb, they were around 80p per litre, that's a 50% rise.

But still you have the brass neck to ask me to pledge loyalty to your company by carrying your card for the tiny payback that is offered.

To paraphrase Withnail, you can stuff your card up your arse and fuck off while you're doing it. With your greed you've guaranteed that I won't be back at a Shell station anytime soon.

Regards, your friend,
Gnuchu.

p.s. I know the other cunts are just as bad.